A word about “NO” “STOPIT” “OUCH”

Do you remember Hyacinth Bucket and her friend Elizabeth?

Whenever Elizabeth visited for tea she was a nervous wreck, causing many opportunities for comic slapstick. She had no idea what rule Hyacinth had decided was vital on this occasion.

So here is an imaginary scene from the show.

As Elizabeth comes through the door, all happy to share some news, Hyacinth shouts “STOP” with a Policeman hand.

Poor Elizabeth freezes. Hyacinth carries on laying the tea things. Frantically Elizabeth looks around to see what rule she broke.

“Oh come on in dear what are you hanging around in the door way for?” “NO THIS WAY”

Elizabeth tentatively goes to the table sneaking around the edge of the kitchen. She slides into the chair.

“ NO NO NO” shouts Hyacinth flapping her hands at Elizabeth.

 Elizabeth freezes mid sit. Hovering above the chair and quickly raising hands from the table she had touched. She looks frantically around. What had she done? What had she touched, what was wrong with the chair, what was wrong with her?

Hyacinth tuts. “Not there dear. That’s for the vicar.”

Elizabeth moves. Now literally shaking with anxiety. She still had no idea how to sit at the table, what the rule was.

She pulls out the chair.

Hyacinth spins around glaring at her waving hands around “Ouch ouch ouch” and then pushing at Elizabeth as she jumped back. Now what had happened? Had hyacinth dropped boiling water on her hand? Had Elizabeth banged the chair leg on hyacinths foot ? Had she been stung?

She sees hyacinth hands on ears and remembers the noise of a scraping chair aggravates her. Elizabeth tentatively sits.

Elizabeth reaches forward to take a cup.

“NO,NO,NO” shouts Hyacinth grabbing for Elizabeths hand as  it hovers above the blue cup. She goes for the red cup “NO” she then reaches to the pink one. “NO”!

Elizabeth is confused. She asks hyacinth which cup she CAN have.

“None”, says Hyacinth. “You need to go and ask the vicar if he’s ready yet”.

“Why have you been messing around here? Didn’t you remember that’s what I said yesterday?”

Poor Elizabeth. She had no idea at any point what it was she had done wrong. Hyacinth did, it was obvious to her, she had the plan sorted, knew the rules.

How might Hyacinth helped Elizabeth ?

Clarity. Asking from her what she DID want, right at the outset. She could have mentioned the rules when planning the special tea with her. She could have reminded her at the beginning of the episode that she needed to get the Vicar in a short while. She might have let her know that the floor was wet as she entered the kitchen and helped her to find the best route across the floor.

She could have directed her to where she SHOULD sit and offer her the right cup or set up the table where the cup for each person was obvious so Elizabeth knows in future which one is the vicars and which is hers, set it all up for success.

Can you make the link ?

Our puppy flies into the living room and bounces on the sofa

“NO NO NO” – with much flapping of arms and pushing (giving attention and raising excitement, this is a game !)

He then grabs the slipper from the floor where the toys he’s allowed are spread out.

“NO “

Oooo human is shouting at me for a game. Yep it’s definitely a game cos they are pulling at it and and shouting. So I’ll pull back this is obviously the best toy and they love the game. This is so much fun to get someone to play, Ill play this next time! I’ll look for the slipper.

Human remembers the toy swap option.

Puppy grabs “toy” that’s being offered to swap for slipper but gets a finger in the excitement. Human shouts “ouch ouch ...” ooo it’s a new game. I love it when they talk with me all excited!

The noises are that. They mean nothing. “No” can be used for countless human thoughts. We use it a lot, like Hyacinth. For us it means “that’s not what I want from you”. In a child or older human we can add a reason. “No don’t play with the slipper” ( clarity) “it’s not a toy, here’s a toy” ( this is what I do/ want you to have) .

But “no” is not the only word we use to interrupt what we don’t want (STOPIT LEAVE IT GET OFF)  and we often don’t replace with what we DO want.

Because we can’t reason with a dog. We could however teach one interrupter sound that has a meaning. It means look at me so I can tell you what I DO want.

The dog needs to know this. To know what happens for that human vocalisation. A word we don’t use in other contexts usually- I use  “HEY”. It means “come here to do something else” The tone should be different to usual human chatter to cut through focus on fun or intention, friendly , lively, firm.

So you say why is this any different to “NO”?

It is. We don’t leave the vacuum of the “NO” word, followed by no action or guidance from us. We create a reinforced (rewarded) “do” to do instead.

So “HEY” interrupts what we don’t want and we offer the legal thing we can reward for. The choice then becomes that action or activity, that choice.

 

Illegal stuff gets attention ( minor reinforcement ) but choosing a legal option instead gets major reinforcement ( games, nice touches, treats). Choosing legal activities offered often and reducing the likelihood of illegal ones occurring,  by being careful about what is available to choose and how it is offered, means legal choice pathways are built and more likely to be selected.

So here is an example:

Pup pinches slipper. “HEY”! Pup looks and drops slipper as something better is coming, he knows that, there has been a history of reward for leaving the HEY thing and there will be something better on offer. The better thing will get selected. Dogs choose behaviours that are effective.

If Hyacinth has added what she did want for Elizabeth at each illegal choice she made and removed the chance of confusion by creating clearer options

Elizabeth would not have got confused.

“ Hello Elizabeth , oo careful don’t walk there its wet, come around here”

Sit on the left, the pink cup is yours, and can you get the Vicar in 5 minutes?”

Setting Elizabeth up for success, clearly she knows now what to do, and how each Vicar tea afternoon will go now, making it less likely she gets it wrong and relieving her confusion and anxiety.  

Teaching the HEY interrupter is useful but should be used sparingly and for the unexpected you can’t plan for.

In truth silence is best. No engagement in redirecting from illegal to legal creates clarity - actions are far better understood than words for dogs.

So how do we teach this emergency cue?

Wait for pup to be not engaged with you.

Say “HEY” ( strong and sharp high tone but not angry. Smiling whilst you say it helps set the friendly intention).

As soon as pup looks round or comes to see what the fuss is,

offer what you do want or an alternative activity or ask for a different behaviour. Like sit or spin or hand touch.

Pups don’t know what they’ve done is illegal!

I also use thank you ( especially for barking ) as an interrupter.

Sticking to one or two specific words helps the clarity.

Offering the alternative action or behaviour  is the guidance to be successful.

So what will your interrupter be? How will you teach it? Will you have a reset behaviour like a hand touch as the action for the cue? Or a sit ?

How will you plan to NOT NEED IT! How can you set your dog up for success? How will you train the HUMANS to rarely need it? What can you do BEFORE that situation occurs? What can you teach the dog to do instead so it is not an emergency?

Lets set our dogs and especially pups up for success and not need an OUCH or NO!